Life's Evil Joke

Once again, appearances prove to be a huge deception. Could there have been an earlier dectection if we had taken things more seriously? When one is dropped with a bombshell, one does their best to react(in whatever they think is the right way) and to cope.

Life is about chain reaction. Am I jumping ahead of myself by thinking the worse or am I just a person who likes to be prepared? By thinking about the worse, I feel like a horrible person, but I believe that may be my defense mechanism. So if things do turn out bad, I am not taken by surprised, and that is perhaps why I am never too stressed. Surprisingly, the other reason why I am never really stressed is because of my ability to not brood over unhappy things.

Ok... am I the only one that's thinking that I sound confused and conflicted?